Far Pavilions

The first plastic cup made its way to the floor by 11 AM. After some cheering and clapping, two more cups bearing the logo ‘Victoria Bitter’ tottered to the floor, slightly imbalanced, like those who had drained them. Diversity was soon added. Paper bags containing discarded remains of fat and slimy Potato Planks here. Some plastic ice-cream wrappers there. At the end of the first day’'s play at the MCG, I looked around and noted at how the concrete footsteps were padded with assorted litter.

However, when I returned the next day to see day 2 of the test match, I was surprised to see no traces whatsoever of the garbage-carnage.

The western world is often disgusted with the filth they see in the developing or under-developed world. Some are even moved to philosophise on it. Scott Seligman, an American, has this to say on the Chinese in his book “Chinese Business Etiquette”

“Relatives, friends, neighbours, classmates, co-workers are all people to whom one bears some form of obligation. No obligation is felt to those outside of one’s circle, which explains the paucity of philanthropy in China and the tendency of people to show little respect for public property or commonly held property.

Apartment dwellers in China may live in lovely flats, but the stairwells and hallways resemble those of a New York tenement – dark, dirty and generally not maintained. In Taiwan, you can tell there has been a day off by the amount of litter strewn in public parks. The near total lack of civic responsibility, to my mind is explainable by the circle theory, because appropriate civic behaviour requires a respect for others outside of the circle – something that is rare indeed in China.”

If my experience at the MCG and elsewhere is any indicator, our basic nature of not caring for public property is not too different across cultures. What differentiates the West is the willingness and ability to correct the consequences of the littering – not always littering in itself.

Recently, Australian visitors to Gallipoli – the Turkish city where several Australians, New Zealanders and Indian soldiers lost their lives in a futile war launched by Britain - were accused of desecrating the site of the ANZAC day event with litter. However, the Australian Prime Minister John Howard went on to defend the behaviour of the ANZAC day visitors by asking the critics to compare the litter on the foreshore of Sydney Harbour after New Year's Eve celebrations.

John Howard is pragmatic. Correcting human behaviour is never easy. Managing waste collection is. Back home, the parts of Chennai covered by Onyx, a private waste collection operator, are visibly cleaner than before.

Till such time as we evolve from relying on inefficient municipalities, we'll have to endure these East vs. West theories!

"India se ho bhai?" greeted the taxi driver who was assigned to me at the Sydney airport taxi rank. I was running late and developing familiarity with a patronising driver was the last thing I was looking forward to. "Mai Pakistan se hoon ji. Mera naam Ali hai". My anxiousness didn't dull the raconteur in the man. The roads were clogged with rush-hour traffic. The anxiety of tardiness soon mellowed, giving way to banter.

Ali expressed his undisguised glee at the recent success of Inzi's men in India. Not content with being one-up, he quickly switched topics to enquire why Jayalalitha was as popular as she is. That stumped me -- not the fact that he knew of Amma -- but indeed, why is she popular? I couldn't provide a convincing sociological hypothesis in response to that question, but then, he wasn't looking for one. He was merely intrigued by the film stars who chose politics as part of their career path: Sunil Dutt, Govinda, Hema Malini.

Ali then reminisced about his 15 years in Australia in about 15 seconds. The commitment to home and togetherness of the family was what he thought made us distinct from the westerner. In an endearing Punjabi drawl, he got nostalgic about the various occasions that bind families "Wahan tho shaddi hoti hai, bacche hote hain, koi marta hai -- kuch na kuch hote rahta hai".

That sentiment is not something that I always value and I was beginning to worry that Ali would decry everything Australian and eulogise everything from home, as many immigrants do here. To my relief, he showed more balance. He resented government officials who unfailingly sought pomp when they used the roads, much to the inconvenience of the masses. Ali was critical about how roads were washed thoroughly in preparation for the burial of Musharraf’s father – especially when roads are never cared for in other times.

In his last tale, he recounted that he was once sent to pick up a passenger named Howard in the suburb of Kiribilli in Sydney. After getting through armed guards at the house of his passenger, it turned out that his pick-up was the son of the Prime Minister John Howard. Ali asked the young Howard why he didn’t use his dad’s car. The bemused passenger told him that his dad’s car was only for official use.

Ali turned to me and asked if I could imagine this happening in India or Pakistan. Yeah, right. I can just about picture Sasikala haggling with a Chennai auto driver as he drops her off at Poes Garden.

In Melbourne, complaints abound that the city is getting more and more impersonal. This is often a complaint against Mumbai as well. However, a couple of events made me realize that Melbourne is no Mumbai.

Two commuters in Melbourne were indignant that no one came to their aid when they were confronted by a bag-snatcher. This, when there were about 50 people witnessing the lone snatcher in action. Something like this is unlikely to happen in Mumbai. In the two years I lived in Mumbai, I have seen occasions when passengers vent their day-to-day frustrations by raining merciless blows on pick-pockets who are unfortunate enough to be caught.

The other event made me wish that Mumbai would take a lesson from Melbourne. As I stepped into a tram one morning, the journey began with this reassuring announcement from the driver:

Good morning passengers. This is the 7:30AM tram service to St. Kilda. Unlike other tram drivers, I am accessible to all passengers. If you are unsure about your stop, please come and see me before you make a mistake.

Passengers with delicate constitutions should be aware that this tram might swerve dangerously around curves and can reach top speeds of 20kmph. You are advised to close your eyes and pray if you have a fear of speed.

During the course of our journey it is likely that the tram may go off the rails and come to rest against the nearest available object. In such an event, there is a real possibility that our destination might be severely altered. Please wait until the tram comes to a complete rest before getting off.

I am sure Mumbai could use drivers with such a sense of humour.

On second thoughts, if train drivers were to make such an announcement in a Mumbai local, the harried passengers are likely to take the announcements seriously and rain blows on him.

Saturday evening was the chosen date for my initiation into footy, the religion of Australia.

John, a friend and a genial supporter of Western Bulldogs, enlisted my wife and me to cheer his team in their match against Adelaide Crows at the Telstra Dome. The Telstra Dome incidentally, is a temperature controlled indoor stadium which will also be the venue for the 3 one-day matches between Australia and the ICC World XI in October.

Before I went to the match, I did my homework by spending 10 seconds of quality search time on Google to learn the footy rules. 18 players from each side try to kick an oblong ball between two of four goalposts on the opposite side.

Here are two enticing excerpts from a website that gives a light-hearted primer to the game:

• No guns, knives, chains or baseball bats. Biting and kicking is punished. No tackling below the waist or above the shoulders. Other than that ... go for it!
• High-leaping marks can be taken by climbing onto another player's back before catching the ball. If a player drops such a mark, a free kick is often paid to the player who was climbed upon. Basically this is to compensate for the inconvenience of having a 90-100 kg man jumping all over your back.

Footy, John informed me, is over 125 years old and was invented as a means to the keep the cricketers fit during the winter. These days, footy captures the imagination of Australia's youngsters as no other game does.

To me, a few things stood out about this amazing game:

The supporters
The 16 teams competing for the annual premiership come with a huge band of supporters who have stayed with the club (or its older forms) for generations. John's grandparents were supporters of this club and he now carries on the mantle. The supporters spend several hundred dollars a year in membership fees and invest considerable time and effort in travelling to various venues to cheer their team -- irrespective of how well or poorly their team performs. The Bulldogs, for example, last won the premiership in 1954. The followers may not always like the performance of some its players, but that doesn’t diminish their loyalty to the club.
In comparison, I think of the investment that most people make in following cricket. Often, it is little more than paying for a ticket to a match venue. The involvement is never as deep. It is a lot easier to criticise a team and stay away from supporting it in times of poor performance when you are not as involved.

Crowd behaviour
John, who has also spent two years in the UK, observed that the footy crowd is pretty well-behaved. He said, "In soccer, where the game is not as quick as footy, the crowd has the time to behave badly. In footy, you are so engrossed with the quick action in the field that there is no time for animosity between opposing fans". Quite true. Crowd-related problems are almost unheard of in footy matches. The MCG doesn’t have such a clean image with crowd behaviour when it hosts cricket these days.

The egalitarianism
The team that finishes at the bottom of the ladder is said to take the metaphorical 'wooden spoon' (It is not clear why or how the term came about). The good news for the wooden spoon team is that it has the choice of picking the best emerging talent to play for its team the following year. That way you don’t have one club dominating the game for a very long time.
I liked this idea a lot. I mentioned later to my wife, "Imagine if the ICC ensured that Nathan Bracken, Stuart McGill and Brad Hodge would play for Bangladesh. It would then take lesser time for Bangladesh to get their test victories against recognised teams". My wife gave me a dazed look. I think I impressed her with my insight and intelligence.

P.S. To John's delight, the Bulldogs won the game.